Hello Hunters!
The upcoming month is packed with better screw ups than ever in Hero Hunters!
We still don’t care that you’re having issues, and really are only interested in your money but we don’t like you getting bored so we have some tried but true problems as well as some totally new ones just to keep you wondering how much worse things can get.
Just for the fun of it we’re only letting Android users take part in some events, but don’t worry IOS users - when you finally get the update approved you will have zero chance to catch up on the events and goodies you missed out on. We have no intention of letting you know what’s going on with this, but we can say with absolute certainty that Apple has delayed the update because our coding has gotten that bad we shouldn’t even be programming a potato.
We would like to announce that our servers have now had a long overdue upgrade. We thought you would appreciate this news, below you can see our old servers, and directly below that our new and improved servers which we have invested a lot in!
As evidenced on the floor underneath them, our new servers actually do give a crap which is more than we can say for ourselves.
Take on a Buffed Co-op Raid to test your teamwork and wait for the game to kick you out halfway through. When you close the game and log back in only to be given the message “match still active” but you can’t get back into the match, just remember we don’t give a furry crack of a rats behind!
Jump into the Solo PvP Blitz or compete in the Tournament featuring SheShen and Captain Klaus. Marvel at the effortless way you get 8 crappy heroes that you can use, but the bots have the full line up of Hero Hunter’s finest to hand you your ass and kick you out the game if you have a chance of winning. We are happy to say that the reward for grinding at this event for 3 days straight will be frags for a hero you never use.
Rally your allies during the Alliance Hero Fragment Blitz, where you can get extra points for your Alliance by remembering to log in every day and collect your crate token for the featured hero. This event runs for 7 days of log in rewards, but we’re gonna pull them on day 2 with zero explanation. They might randomly pop up again in a week or 2, but rest assured that once you have collected your token and go to open the crate it is for - SURPRISE!!! there’s no crate there that matches the token. Of course this will be fixed towards the end of the month, and the crate will appear. But your crate tokens will have vanished, to be replaced by a special offer you can buy instead.
In the Bounty Event, don’t expect the featured hero to have the bonus it should have and we suggest you don’t make any plans for your weekend because we’re excited to see your reaction when bounty suddenly disappears whilst your hitting summons and you didn’t even get chance to collect your crummy milestones. Never fear, bounty will return next weekend but none of your progress will have been saved and you’re gonna have to run it all again like Bill Murray in Groundhog day.
Round it all out with the Into the Dojo Co-op Raid, where if you’re really lucky we’ll make the hero in it a void or astral and only drop 3 frags per raid, so make sure you let work know you’ll be a couple hours late each morning because you’re having to pimp yourself out on VIP chat just to try and get the max frags for the day. And once you get it don’t forget to hand us your paycheck in order to buy thousands of stamina in exchange for 3 void or astral bottles because we’re tighter with the drop on those than a duck’s ass.
Alliance War is back! We have solved the issue of chronic lag on reset. Lol, just kidding. We are however going to make sure it doesn’t actually start when it’s meant to. We’ll probably do that on round 2 of War, so not only will it run over the weekend, but you’ll be playing it every day wondering if it’s just going to go “poof” halfway through the event.